Woman of the Cross

Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

March 29, 2015

“Woman, behold, your son.”

The Sacred Scripture records the Seven Last Words of Jesus. Why only seven? I do not exactly know why only seven, but for sure these are words that Jesus wanted us to remember. On the cross, Jesus was in great pain, dying and catching for breath, and thus, every word is so precious and meaningful. But, one that catches my attention most is “Woman, behold you son”. Why? Because the crucified Jesus did not forget to dedicate His last word to the most special woman in His life just there nearest to his cross, Mary, His mother.

Yes, in Filipino translation, she was called ‘ina’, and even in Indonesian translation, ‘ibu’, both meaning mother, but not in English and even in original Greek. Jesus called her, ‘Woman’. Why? Fathers of the Church believed that Mary is the New Eve, the Woman, but I believe that Jesus did not only address Mary there, but also every woman who also stands near His cross. While other male disciples were running away and hiding, this woman faithfully followed Jesus. This woman is not running away, is not kneeling, is not weeping, but she is standing firmly under the cross. The last man standing is not even a man!

There are a lot of women standing at side of the cross, cross of marriage, of family, of work and of life. She is a wife who tries to be faithful to her Catholic marriage despite the infidelity of her husband. She is a mother who is juggling among her husband, children and work. She needs to wake up early morning, to prepare things for her family, to spend time in the office to earn for the family, and to sleep late because she needs to take care of mess at the house. She is a religious sister who works so hard for the congregation and the Church, yet she was not appreciated and even betrayed.

  The gravity of ‘standing at foot of the cross’ sinks into my heart when Fr. Edmund Nantes, OP brought me to a charitable institution in Marikina City. This charitable institution houses physically and sexually abuse young women and teenagers. As I interacted with them and listened to their stories, my heart was pierced. I could not imagine that men and other women can be so violent to people close to them. It is a story of young girls raped by their own fathers; of little daughters sold by her own mothers. But, one of the volunteers told me that these girls were lucky because the institution took care of them, but out there, millions women fell victims into domestic violence and human trafficking, forced into sex slaves and unpaid labors. Every day, women die in giving birth and cute baby girls born malnourished. And who are the cause of all this evil? Somehow it is us!

We abuse these strong women if we take for granted their beautiful identity and worse, use them as a tool to gain our own satisfaction. We use our mother, abuse our wife and take advantage of our friends. We simple forget that we are here because there is a woman who decides to take all the pain of giving birth and to make the sacrifice in rearing us. Jesus on the cross call our attention to these beautiful and strong women of the cross. It is not too late for us to thank our mother before we sleep today, to hug our wives or girlfriend with gratitude, and to listen to little stories of our younger sisters.

For all women standing by the cross.

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

Perempuan di Kaki Salib Yesus

Minggu Palma

29 Maret 2015

“Ibu, inilah anakmu (Yn 19:26).”

The Kitab Suci mencatat Tujuh Sabda terakhir Yesus di Salib. Mengapa hanya tujuh? Saya tidak tahu persis mengapa hanya tujuh, tapi yang pasti Sabda Yesus ini adalah kata-kata yang akan kita kenang sepanjang masa. Di atas kayu salib, Yesus menderita sakit yang luar biasa, berjuang untuk hidup dan berhadapan dengan kematian, dan dengan demikian, setiap Sabda yang keluar dari mulut-Nya adalah begitu berharga dan bermakna. Salah satu Sabda yang paling menarik perhatian saya adalah, “Ibu, inilah anakmu”. Mengapa? Karena Yesus yang tersalib tidak pernah melupakan seorang perempuan yang setia hingga di kaki salib-Nya, yakni Maria, sang  Bunda.

Seperti halnya Bahasa Indonesia, dalam terjemahan Filipina, Maria dipanggil 'ina', yang bermakna ibu. Tapi, tidak dalam bahasa Inggris dan bahkan teks kuno Yunani, Yesus tidak pernah mamanggil Maria ‘ibu’, tetapi memanggilnya, ‘Woman’, ‘Perempuan’. Mengapa? Para Bapa Gereja percaya bahwa Maria adalah Hawa yang baru, sang Perempuan, tapi saya percaya bahwa Yesus tidak hanya menyapa Maria, tetapi juga setiap perempuan yang juga berdiri di dekat salib. Perempuan dari masa lalu, di masa ini dan yang akan datang di masa depan. Sementara murid-murid laki-laki lain melarikan diri dan bersembunyi, perempuan ini dengan setia mengikuti Yesus. Perempuan ini tidak melarikan diri, tidak berlutut, tidak menangis, tapi dia berdiri teguh di bawah salib!

Ada banyak perempuan yang berdiri di samping salib, salib pernikahan, salib keluarga, salib pekerjaan dan salib kehidupan. Dia adalah seorang perempuan yang mencoba untuk setia  dalam pernikahannya meskipun suamninya berselingkuh. Dia adalah seorang perempuan yang berdiri di antara suaminya, anak-anak dan pekerjaan. Dia perlu bangun pagi untuk mempersiapkan hal-hal bagi keluarganya, menghabiskan waktu di kantor untuk mendapatkan uang bagi keluarga, dan tidur larut malam karena dia perlu membereskan rumahnya yang berantakan. Dia adalah seorang perempuan dalam jubah biarawati yang bekerja begitu keras untuk kongregasinya dan gereja, tapi dia tidak dihargai dan bahkan dikhianati.

  Beratnya ‘berdiri di kaki salib’ baru masuk ke dalam hatiku saat Romo Edmund Nantes, OP mengajak saya untuk mengunjungi lembaga amal di Marikina City, Filipina. Lembaga amal ini menyediakan tempat tinggal dan pertolongan bagi para perempuan muda dan remaja yang menjadi korban kekerasan fisik dan seksual. Setelah saya berinteraksi dengan mereka dan mendengarkan cerita mereka, hatiku luluh. Saya tidak bisa membayangkan bahwa pria dan wanita lain bisa begitu kejam kepada orang-orang yang dekat dengan mereka. Ini adalah kisah tentang gadis-gadis muda diperkosa oleh ayah mereka sendiri; putri kecil dijual oleh ibu mereka sendiri. Tapi, salah satu relawan berkata kepada saya bahwa gadis-gadis ini beruntung karena lembaga merawat mereka, tapi di luar sana, jutaan perempuan menjadi korban ke kekerasan di dalam rumah tangga dan juga human trafficking, dipaksa menjadi budak seks dan tenaga kerja paksa. Setiap hari, perempuan meninggal saat melahirkan dan bayi perempuan lahir kurang gizi karena kemiskinan. Dan siapa pelaku semua ini? Secara tidak langsung ini adalah kita!

Kita melecehkan para perempuan-perempuan ini jika kita gagal melihat identitas yang indah mereka dan hanya menggunakan mereka sebagai alat untuk mendapatkan kepuasan kita sendiri. Kita lupa kenapa kita di sini sekarang karena ada seorang perempuan yang memutuskan untuk mengambil semua rasa sakit saat melahirkan kita dan berkorban dalam membesarkan kita. Yesus di kayu salib menarik perhatian kita kepada para perempuan berani di sisi salib-Nya. Belum terlambat bagi kita untuk berterima kasih kepada ibu kita sebelum kita tidur hari ini, memeluk istri kita dengan rasa syukur, dan mendengarkan cerita-cerita kecil adik perempuan kita di rumah.

Untuk semua perempuan berdiri di dekat salib.

Frater Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP

God who Cares

Fifth Sunday of Lent

March 22, 2015

John 12:20-33

“Now my soul is troubled (Jn 12:27).

At times, we feel that the entire weight of the world falls upon our shoulders. Our hearts are heavy and bodies are so weary. Some problems come to our lives and we do not know what to do. It might be that the members of our family get seriously ill and our energy and resources are exhausted in helping them. Maybe, we get entangled in deep financial problem because some people are shrewdly stealing our hard-earn wage. At times also, our hard works or ministries are not appreciated and deemed to be worthless even by our own friends. We feel tired, betrayed, and hurt. Our souls are troubled, and sometimes, we burst into tears.

We then bend our knees and ask the Lord: Why are lives so difficult to bear? Why did God allow these things to happen? We know that we have been good followers of Christ and even active members of the Church, yet God did not spare us from this trial. If God seems silent, then I do not dare to give any satisfactory answer to this problem of suffering. Yet, as people with faith, we must not lose hope. Why? Because we are not alone.

Today’s Gospel mentions a beautiful truth about our Lord. Jesus Himself admitted that His soul was in distress. In the face of imminent death, He presented Himself as truly human; a man who was troubled, saddened and confused. He experienced what we experience. He suffered what we suffer. Overwhelmed by His grief, He also wept. And this is our God.

Our faith may neither give us a clear explanation on the suffering we endure, nor provide a sure solution to the problems we face now. Yet, one thing is for sure: our faith tells us that God is there together with us in our darkest moments. He shares our pains, He shoulders our burdens and He bears our sadness. And this is our God.

One of the most moving events of Pope Francis’ visit to the Philippines is the Holy Eucharist at Tacloban City. The area was heavily devastated by Typhoon Yolanda in 2013. The Holy Father decided to continue with the Eucharist despite the strong wind and rainfall. In his yellow raincoat, Pope Francis told the people who have lost many things including their loved ones during the typhoon, “When I saw from Rome that catastrophe, I had to be here. And on those very days I decided to come here. I am here to be with you – a little bit late, but I’m here. I have come to tell you that Jesus is Lord.” The good Pope may not solve a lot of problems there, but his presence allows the people to feel that they really have God who cares.

Perhaps, why our problems are so heavy is because we just focus on ourselves. We fail to see the Lord who is so near, who touches us through good people around us. My brother in the community who is working with the poor, once told me that he felt hopeless that he could not do much to help them. The best thing he could do was to listen to their stories. I reminded him that his act of listening was already an act of charity and God has touched them through him.

A fourteenth-century Sufi poet Hafiz once wrote, “Even after all this time, the Sun never says, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.” Sometimes, we just need to look out for the sunlight; to see the good people around us. They may not solve our problems, but for sure, our lives become brighter as they shows to us that our God cares.  

Br. Valentinus Bayuhadi Ruseno, OP